Newly Assessed Reviews: Entertainment Weekly Style

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Amuro Namie
PLAY
(Avex Trax)
Pop

The latest album from re-usurping pop queen, Namie Amuro, is more than dance friendly, it actually happens to be music friendly. With the impeccable production team of Nao’myt and T.Kura & Michico, Amuro seems to strike the perfect balance of her newly coined Hip-Pop (Lil’ Mama better step down), as she shows her stuff on the horn blasting, synth bumping, hit album cut, Hide & Seek. While the boiling Violet Sauce (Spicy) adds a dash of you-know-what. Even the glass-breaking, pseudo-rock of It’s all about you doesn’t seem to fall flat. Where PLAY does fall flat in is that the music is more of a showcase of amazing production and songwriting, than the artist herself. A-
– Patrick Mullins

Download: Full Moon

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Utada Hikaru
HEART STATION

(EMI Japan)
Pop

Acclaimed singer-songwriter, Utada Hikaru finds herself once again in sadly fading synth. Repeating almost verbatim what she showed us in Ultra Blue (2006), Hikaru offers nothing new but the refreshingly emotional Prisoner of Love and the Enya-esque Take 5. The single tracks, as they did as singles, fell flat. They showcase her lyricism but none of her musicianship. Just because Flavor of Life is the most successful digital song of all time (for now anyways), doesn’t mean it’s quality. But that also doesn’t mean it isn’t good. Music is a mire of mixing the good, the bad, and the stunning. B+
– Patrick Mullins

Download: Prisoner of Love

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BoA
THE FACE
(Avex Trax)
Pop

BoA has a stunning voice, a stunning body, and a stunning FACE, so why the decline? Why is the once reigning Queen of Asian Pop, falling from grace in her most lucrative market? Someone needs the throw the girl a bone. And by bone, I mean good song. All of these songs are mediocre at best. Even the most danceable track, Girl in the Mirror seems old-hat. The ballads are as airy as a blow-up mattress and the rest of album tracks showcase none of the stunning performances from her last two Korean albums. As we watch her slow fall from grace, we can’t help but wonder… will she ever give us another hit? C
– Patrick Mullins

Download: Happy Birthday

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Koda Kumi
KINGDOM
(Rhythm Zone)
Pop

Reigning sex kitten, Koda Kumi, once again startles the scene by releasing Black Cherry Part II, not that we don’t want it. Where Black Cherry (2005) succeeded is where Kingdom builds upon and climaxes in the wild, modern entity that is Under. But faltering horrifically on the faux-Amuro styled MORE. While no single from the album matches 4 hot wave, FREAKY does it’s best approximation of it and Amai Wana fills the gap that JUICY left. Koda Kumi offers us another helping of her “Black Cherry” (no pun intended), she’s found her stride, but at the cost of her self-respect, but when has that mattered? Definitely not since Britney. A-
– Patrick Mullins

Download: Amai Wana

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Hamasaki Ayumi
GUILTY

(Avex Trax)
Pop

Ayumi Hamasaki’s ninth studio album offers something that the others have sadly left out, her musical soul. The rock numbers from GUILTY offer us an in depth look into her angst and fierceness, something human about that otherworldly beauty she poses. Her lyrics have always been stunningly real, but the music so far has yet to truly capture that feeling. In the single talkin’ 2 myself, we hear roaring, splintering electric guitar, but all too soon, she falls back onto the robotic electronica we found on many of her albums. I look forward to the Ayumi who rocks her way to the floor, which seems to be her strongest play for musical genius. B
– Patrick Mullins

Download: Marionette

So, this is some of my reviews written in the style of magazine reviews, namely Entertainment Weekly. Tell me what you think… I want to know so badly!

Thanks,
Patrick

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~ by vinyabarion on July 7, 2008.

12 Responses to “Newly Assessed Reviews: Entertainment Weekly Style”

  1. Nice review, but you got some errors. Utada’s label is EMI Japan, not SONY. And Ayumi’s 5th album isn’t Guilty. Guilty is her ninth studio album. Otherwise everything is good!

    ~Diegwa

  2. I love the writing format. Very snappy and straight forward.

  3. … BoA was the only one who got a C. Why? But someone got snappy with you! lol.

  4. Oh, I didn’t tell you? I am going to doing some music reviews… and I might review your girl Namie. MMMMM sounds like a good idea.

  5. **cry cry**

  6. there’s another error Ayu’s song is called “Talkin’ 2 Myself” not “Talkin’ to Me”

  7. I quite enjoyed reading that.
    :3
    There was a strong sense of professionalism in it.

  8. Great short review. I love your previous style more. I enjoy the personal touch to your longer reviews. I am wondering, will you be doing a review of Yamada Yu’s new album MYUSIC? It did badly on the charts but I would love to hear what you think of it.

  9. you do know… almost everything you said, i said in the review? lol I found the movie OK and entertaining, but it wasn’t what I thought it was. The only reason I gave it a C was just some pointless and moral- less scenes.

  10. hmmm out of blue…

  11. I really liked it, i will be looking forward for more

  12. NOW THIS I like. Simple, to the point, but smart and snark a well. I’m back, btw, and adding you to my blogroll

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